Signs she doesn’t want a relationship with you

While falling in love is a dream for most of us, you and I both know it doesn’t happen with everyone we date. 

Have you ever been with a partner who gives you mixed signals? They sweet talk with you like they like you seriously and maybe even want more with you but they don’t always act and behave like that sometimes? 

When we like someone so much, we can sometimes be blinded to the red flags and we keep pursuing them and ultimately end up getting hurt. 

This has personally happened to me and such experiences can be eye opening and we start paying attention to these details more. 

So here are signs that she doesn’t want a relationship with you:


Isn’t this the most obvious sign? Apparently not! 

It is common for people in this time and age to date multiple people. It has been normalized and it is quite harmless at the beginning because asking for exclusivity right off the beginning can scare some people and might even come off as toxic and attached

But after some time has progressed it’s important that we don’t stay in the same stage and take it to the next level by shooting for exclusivity. 

But if you are not dating exclusively, the chances are, she doesn’t want a relationship with you. 


It can be hard for some people to open up to another person especially if they have a history of having their trust broken. 

Try asking her about some deep questions about her life and her family and her goals and aspirations. 

If they are not opening up about their feelings to you, the chances are they aren’t ready to be in a relationship yet. 


What makes us want to be in a relationship with someone? Let’s understand the process and check if they have the signs that you have. 

The theory of attraction works in different ways for different people. We just want to jump into it with some people but with others, no matter how hard we try, we just don’t feel it. Right? 

So let’s look at it from a broader perspective and come out with some signs of interest that your partner would show if they want to be in a relationship with you. 


Now there’s a difference between being kind and being in love 😛

Makes sense right? 

When you feel appreciated for being yourself with a person in a relationship, that’s everything! 

Here’s an example from my own life : My girlfriend, the girl I am in a relationship with, appreciated every little thing about me right off the beginning. 

From the way I talk to her to the way I treat her to the way I hug her. She loved every little thing. Some people aren’t very expressive, but if they are really into you, that’s when their inner vulnerable child comes out and look

 out for that innocent vulnerable flirt in your girl. 


Do you ever playfully talk about a future together? Even if it’s playful, sharing a dream together is the beginning of it all

It is when the seed of love is planted. The desire to share your life with someone grows here. 

Do you feel like she wants to spend her holidays with you? Look out for these conversations. 

If not, start one and see how she reacts to it to better understand her intentions and mindset. 


There’s a difference between hanging out when you are free and making time to be with each other even when things are hectic. Right? 

Which part of the ground do you think you are at in this aspect? 

This is the difference between I like you and I REALLY WANT YOU. 

It can take some time for some people to get here tho. So if you are just starting out then I would advice you to be patient. 


Did your partner surprise you in any way from the time you started dating? 

When we are special to someone, they do things that other people don’t normally do. Calling up to check on you even if it wasn’t expected. 

My girl gave me flowers before I could give her any. She said ” I am a flower person Sai. I love it when people give me flowers. But weirdly for the first time ever I wanted to give someone flowers”

I know not everyone is as cheesy as my girl :P, but look out for these things that she does to surprise you. 

If not, go ahead and surprise your girl with a beautiful gesture and see how she reacts to it. The expressions will tell it all. 


There’s is a lot of controversy around if sex life an important factor when it comes to love and relationships? 

It is for most people. Gone are the times where people stick together even if they don’t satisfy each other. 

While this is not the main thing that pushes people to take the next step, this can be a good additional point if you are really into each other. 

Sexual satisfaction is an important part of life and is essential if you are going to build a life with someone. So observe if she is satisfied, if not, try harder 🙂 


Does she also talk to you like a friend? Do you enjoy each other’s company while being yourself? Just relaxed and natural? 

This is very different from the “Friend zone” that we all dread. This is about being able to enjoy each other’s company without having to try. It’s about being about to have conversations naturally and getting along with each other. 

This I believe is an important factor for being able to connect in a deeper level and actually desire a relationship with you. 


Let’s face it, everyone has some flaws. We all do. It could be an annoying thing we do, or an addictive habit or a behavior we do that can put people off. 

If we have been getting to know each other for awhile, these imperfections do turn up. When it does, observe if your partner is accepting of it or if she is trying to change you. 

If you had spoken honestly about these imperfections and if they have shared their deepest insecurities about themselves, that itself is a good sign that she is opening up and is also accepting of you as a whole. 

It is safe that you pass through this step before going into a relationship; it would probably turn into something healthy and meaningful. 


We would like to think we will know when people use us, but unfortunately that’s not the case always especially when it comes to romantic relationships

There’s a huge spectrum of ways that our partner could use us. Is your relationship transactional? 

Do you partner always look for ways in which you could help her and is that the usual interaction that happens between you two? 

I have seen alot of my friends in college being used for assignments, projects and money. If you are the one consistently helping your partner out and if you are the one putting in all the effort always then maybe their intentions aren’t so right! 


More than any of the signs mentioned above this would tell it all. 

The expressions on your partners face. The way they act around you in different circumstances. It’s very important that we observe our partners during important conversations

While it’s not wise to jump into conclusions based on just the way they react, it is important that we notice everything so we won’t miss any potential red flags. 

Now if you are just her friend and if you feel like you are vibing with a girl and if you are wondering if she’s into you, here a list:

Signs she doesn’t want to date you:


While it’s completely normal for friends to be close physically, try simple gestures of affection just to see if they are comfortable with it. 

Long hugs, holding hands, sitting close to each other while hanging out is all good signs that they are comfortable being close to you


If she gets jealous over you talking about other women or being with other women that is a good sign that she is into you

But if she doesn’t care at all about your relations with other girls, then she’s either good at hiding her emotions or she’s not interested in you romantically. 

Makes sense right?

Hope you liked this article!


Written by Sai Subramaniam

Sai has over 4 years experience writing about mental health and productivity. He shares his thoughts about love, life and business in this blog. His goal is to help people become the best version of themselves and is guided by experts in the psychology and mental health field to help educate everyone about lifestyle and productivity

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